英語で笑いましょう

 　

『間抜けなthief』　（Tiko様　寄稿）

The following story actually happened to a Japanese professional photographer who lives in West Vancouver and works for NHK from time to time. I had met him a few years ago at a Japanese restaurant.
On one morning last week when he went to the busstop in front of his house to go to his office, he had an eye contact with a suspicious-looking man at the busstop.
He took a bus, but the man remained at the busstop. Later in the day, he got a phone call from the police and discovered what had happened.

The suspicious-looking man was a thief and broke into the photographer's house. He stole many items, including expensive cameras, a big tele-photo lens, and a computer, etc. He put them in two bags, and tried to hitch a ride on Highway 1 which is only a few blocks away. As in Japan, it is not allowed to hitch-hike on super-highways. Soon, a police cruiser stopped to tell him to move out of the highway, but the kind police officer offered him a ride. When the man sat in the car, the officer could see a Japanese book sticking out of one of the bags, and became suspicious. The officer asked to examine the contents of the bags, and found more stolen goods there. The thief initially said he was carrying them to a Japanese friend, but finally admitted his crime and was arrested on the spot. From the business card placed inside the computer, the police officer could find the phone number of the photographer, and called him to tell the story
『Easy IQ test（易しすぎるIQテストにはご用心）』　（Tiko様　寄稿）

(Passing requires 4 correct answers)

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

All done? Check your answers below
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1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get catgut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange, of course.

What do you mean you failed?
『2003 jokes』　（Tiko様　寄稿）

You know you're living in 2003 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally do "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
10. Your CV is on a disk in your pocket.

11. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes.
12. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
13. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
14. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
15. Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.
16. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
17. Your boss gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the latest features, but you have time to go for lunch while yours boots up.
18. Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in hospital.
20. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department desperately needs, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
21. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".

AND THE CLINCHERS ARE...
22. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
23. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends".
24. You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the net.
25. You are too busy to notice there was no 9 & 19.
26. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a No.9".
　　　　　　　　　　　　


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